Being Pro Black and Dating Outside the Black Race: Is it Possible?

By Fajorah Poteau

Can you be pro black and date other races?

This question has been lingering within the black community for some time now, and even with the various ‘yes’ and ‘no’ opinions, we (the black community) cannot seem to be in sync with one decision.

On one end of the spectrum, we have our peers who believe that dating outside the black race as a black person, automatically cancels out your credibility of…being black. They are extremely intolerant of “mixing” inside the black community, and do not support the idea of being able to call yourself pro black if you commit this action. On the other end of the spectrum, we have our peers that believe in the simple saying, “love is love.” They believe that you can date and marry whomever you please, and still be pro black. From their perspective, race should not matter when forming relationships with others. There are of course, individuals who are in the middle of the spectrum. This group of people are neutral to this topic, and do not think it is important enough to discuss at all.

While I respect all outlooks on this topic, I must admit to being on one complete side of the spectrum: that love is love. I formulated this opinion not from emotion or subjectivity, but from logic and reasoning.

To me, the simple definition of being pro-black is having a lifestyle that encourages the economic growth and development of the black race. This includes supporting black businesses, encouraging black children to stay in school, funding black communities to decrease poverty/homelessness, and speaking out against the unreasonable decrease of black lives. I believe that you can do all these things without having to be romantically involved with a black person. Let me be clear…

Being in a romantic relationship with someone should be about your attraction to their character and personality.

We (black people) claim to support Martin Luther King’s statement of judging one not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character, yet completely disregard this when talking about romantic relationships.

Many pro black revolutionaries and activists who do not believe in interracial dating justify this by saying that there will be a reduction in the black population. How accurate is this assumption though? From a biological standpoint, this simply is not possible. If, let us say, a black man and white woman have a child together; the child would be considered mixed. According to the black community, we would still accept the child as “black” because they have “black blood.” So, if this is the case, what is wrong with mixing? Are we going to admit to hypocrisy, or are we going to now say that half black children can no longer be considered black? Fortunately, it is not up to us to decide.

The reason I stand behind the opinion that you can date interracially and still be pro black is because being pro black does not mean you are anti-everything else. I personally have dated outside of the black race, and speaking from experience, I did not choose the relationship based on race or ethnicity. I chose the relationship because of how I felt about them. The person. Not once did I feel like I was doing a disfavor to the black community, and nobody should ever have to feel that way if their heart is in the right place.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very aware of black people who date other races specifically to forget about the issues and struggles of being black, or the most amusing excuse of not wanting their children to be “dark skinned with nappy hair.” Having this mindset is extremely ignorant, and a perfect example of what it means to not be pro black.

At the end of the day, I believe that the people we choose to be romantically involved with should never determine our love for a certain race. As a matter of fact, dating interracially should provide us opportunity to educate our partners about our racial issues and culture, in a way to become a united people.

We are all human and we should love each other, no matter the color of our skin. There is a thin line between pro black and black supremacy, and we must be careful which side we are leaning toward.

 

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