You are one of the strongest, charismatic, independent, and beautiful people I know.
The way you put your friends and family before yourself is astounding. You would give those you love your very last. If and when someone needs anything, you got it.
But who has you? Who is willing to give you there very last? Who is there when you need a shoulder to cry on or a hug?
How is it so possible to seem alone in a room full of people.
Your greatest strength yet biggest weakness is your strength. I know that sounds confusing but let me explain.
For some odd reason you have somewhat of a phobia of people seeing you at your lowest. It is okay to be soft and vulnerable and cry. That is what makes you human. You do not have to always be okay. No one in the world, even the happiest person alive is always happy.
Do you know its toxic to hold things in the way you do? So much to the point that when it all comes out its uncontrollable. You can’t even think, speak, or properly function because the large about of emotions you have bundled up over time are finally coming out.
How is it someone so social? Is yet so closed off at the same time?
This needs to stop as well. I know you have a hard time expressing yourself and how you feel, but it is okay. You have friends who love and support you no matter what. It is okay to go to them and let them know what is going on.
Stop worrying about the future.
It seems as though as you are falling behind when you look around and see your friends prospering with big time internships and other employment opportunities that will help secure their life after college. But, don’t you know that God has a plan for you. Everyone’s path is different.
It is okay to not know what you are going to be doing In the summer…. even though that is less than a month away. God knows. Keep applying to internships, all those no’s that you have gotten are just a stepping stone to that Giant yes God has for you.
I know you feel the pressure to be successful because all of your family and friends back home expect so much from you. But, you can’t let that weigh on you. All you can do is to continue to do what you are doing and leave it all to God.
All this hard work you are doing is not going to waste. C’mon now. You are on four E-Boards, in more than five orgs, have two jobs, and take care of Nola. There is no way in the world that God put all that on your plate for no reason. He knows that you can handle anything and everything he throws at you, it is all a matter of you believing it.
I love you. You are an amazing woman. Stop worrying. Stop stressing, Start believing