By Christelle Anani
I’m in need of motivation. I don’t know what’s happened to me. This time last year I was constantly in the gym, constantly studying, constantly on a grind.
They said there’s this thing called “Sophomore Slump”, and I would laugh every time they said it. “That’s not real, That’s not gonna happen to me.” After all, the “Freshman 15” didn’t affect me. I was so active in my first year that I actually lost 25 pounds.
This year, on the other hand, has been a whole different ballgame. I haven’t been as active, my classes are so much harder, and I’ve been off in my walk with God, but something tells me that I will make it through.
I have so many goals and aspirations. I need to keep my grades up so I can get into the Terry College of Business and remain in the Honors College of UGA. I need to eat clean and workout so that I can attain my weight loss goal. I need work on my spiritual health so I can ultimately be reunited with my loved ones in Heaven. I need to make sure that I love my self enough, that I realize my worth and my value, and that I continue to inspire others, but that I do so while keeping my mental health intact.
I have a tendency to lift, motivate, and boost others, but I can’t take my own advice. I am way too hard on myself, and I can be my greatest enemy. I often find myself feeling like I’m not doing enough, feeling empty, and like I am not fulfilling my greatest potential.
My mom once told me that I was feeling down because I was trying to fill others up from an empty vessel. Her words made me realize that I have to take care of myself, before I can be strong enough to support and uplift others with my feet planted strong.
Unfortunately, this summer knocked me off of my feet. My best friend died, my church family was hit with a whirlwind of problems, and I was forced to remain in the role of being the strong friend. I now realize that my facade is fading. I am still off of my game because I have been too busy worrying about everyone other than myself. I have been chugging along with an empty gas tank, but I cannot go for much longer, and I know that I will fold under the pressure if I am not filled up.
I believe that the only way to fill myself up is to surround myself with goal-oriented, dedicated, consistent, positive, inspirational, and God-sent people. It starts with the small things that say “I love you” to myself. I know that if I take the time to be on a schedule: pray, workout, eat clean, study, and fellowship with loved ones, I will be so much happier. Being happier will, in turn, allow me to stop being so hard on myself.
This will, in turn, allow me to effectively reflect, learn and grow until I reach my goals. Reaching goals has always inspired me. Throughout the years I have learned to be proud of the beauty in my struggles. I have been knocked down, I have fallen a million and one times, but I know that with the motivation, dedication, and drive I possess, I will stand up again. I believe in me. I am my own motivation.