Dear Christian

by Cheyenne Brown

Dear Christian,

Hey, are you there? I know you are probably enjoying your life and your other family-The Jenkins, but what about us Browns. You know after all you are one, you may not have the last name, but you sure do have the blood.

I am just going to get straight to the point. I have never known anyone in my life to be more selfish than you. You have two little sisters. Do you even care? Cierra and I literally have been waiting forever for the day to come where you decide that you want to be a part of our lives. That two-second meet and greet we had three years ago was pointless.

Pointless because after that day nothing changed. It was nice to walk the city with you, have dinner, and take pictures together. But what was the point? Yes, I finally got to meet my older brother.

Yes, I actually got a few hours to make memories with an individual I have only ever had more than an email conversation with. But-I do not even remember speaking to you after that day. You never called, wrote, texted, nothing.

It was just a tease. It was just a remembrance of a piece of my life that I have always been missing and will never have.

I never understood how you can just completely forget about having two little sisters. I can understand you not talking to your dad, because those situations happen all the time. But what about me and Cierra? What does that have to do with us?

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You know when I was younger I thought you hated me. All I ever wanted to do was to build a relationship with you and you never let me in. How do you shut down a little kid who has nothing to offer you but love?

Days, weeks, months, years passed…

It is crazy because when people ask me do I have siblings I always say I have a little sister and nothing more. I rarely acknowledge the fact that I have a brother. Why? Because you are not around, I know more than your name, birthday, and barely your age. What are you like five or six years older than me?

These are the things that siblings are supposed to know about each other. What’s really crazy is that I will probably know more about someone if I sat down and had a 10 minute conversation with them than I know about you.

At this point in my life, I don’t care. I might as well not. I refuse to stress myself over someone who could care less about me or my little sister. Okay, I will give you the benefit of the doubt, before you may have had a hard time reaching out to us because you were still living under your mother’s roof, but now… You are a grown man. If you really cared you would reach out.

We follow each other on Instagram and Snapchat, but there is never any direct communication. The most I ever got from you were pointless snaps that you’d post on your story as well. To be honest I think I unfollowed you for that simple reason.

I couldn’t tell you how many times Daddy has said under his breath “Well if I had a son then…” or “Things would be much easier with another male around..”

Do you know how annoying it is to do yard work? Daddy makes me and Cierra cut the grass, cut the hedges, pick the weeds, lay the mulch, all that. Yeah, it is nice to be self-sufficient but if you were here we would not have to do stuff like this.

It is honestly time for you and Daddy to both man up. I know for a fact deep down inside that the two of you love each other

I would love to get to know you.

What do you say we just start over?

Hey Christian, I am your little sister Cheyenne.

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