Boxed In

By Sabrina Burse

Think about the moment you knew how to behave. I’m not talking about sitting quietly in a restaurant because your parents want to maintain the image that their kids know how to act. Think about the age you knew what was acceptable in society.

As a man you are supposed to be strong, decisive, and masculine. As a woman, you are supposed to be nurturing, quiet, and feminine.  Whether you want to believe it or not, these boxes exist and very few of us fit in them.

Males bring home the bacon. He is the head of the household. He doesn’t take part in feminine things like sensitivity and dresses. He is sex driven. He is level headed. He is the boss. He is the president, the CEO, the doctor. He gets paid more. He pays less for shaving cream than she does.

Females stay home and take care of the children. She is supposed to listen. She cannot appear too strong or she is labeled as a hormonal bitch. She cannot partake in sexual activities because it is impure. She gets paid less. She pays more for the pink scooter while he pays less for the identically modeled blue scooter.


I will not fit into this box you have created for me. Society is capable of change. We need to stop pushing these expectations on each other. He has to listen and understand you, but he can’t feel for you too much or he will appear weak. She can have a job but she can’t make more money than him because he doesn’t want to feel like anyone’s wife.

Just be you. Communicate with each other. Express your expectations from the jump so there aren’t any surprises. Be who you are and own it. The human beings on this planet fit into the wide spectrum of masculinity and femininity and everything in between. Do not continue to let society brainwash you about what it is to be a man or a woman. Stop trying to confine yourself and the people around you.

When the day ends and you are alone, who are you? Who do you want your children to be? Will you accept your little boy that likes to wear makeup? Will you let your daughter play with toy guns or tryout for the football team? Does it really matter?

Just love yourself and one another. At the end of the day that’s all anyone wants it to feel a sense of belonging anyway. We too often neglect these thoughts because in our minds it’s not happening to us but rather around us. Try coming at it from a smaller perspective. Apply it to your life because it can happen to you and when it does, that will change the conversation real quick.


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