By Cheyenne Brown
To some, falling in love can be easy; to others it’s very challenging. As time continues, falling in love for later generations seems to be a tougher and tougher journey. Whether it is because of past relationships, a child’s upbringing, or expectations, the reasons vary greatly on why our current age group struggle in this category.
AfterHere are some main reasons why it is difficult for our generation today:
Past relationships hold us back
Scenario: Brenton and Tiara have been in a relationship for the past 3 years. One day Brenton finds out that Tiara had been cheating on him for the past 2 months. The relationship falls apart and Brenton is now scarred for life. While still holding on to that scar he/she gets into a new relationship, and what happens?
People allow past relationships dictate how they go about new relationships. Not saying one should completely forget about their past relationship, but one should use it no more than a simple lesson. Do not let previous experiences contaminate the new relationship one is trying to build with someone else.
“A lot of people go into relationships still holding on to what the last person did to them, i.e. cheat, so they go into the relationship already not trusting that new person they currently are in a relationship with. It’s not fair, but it happens quite often,” 2nd year student, Paul Haynes said.
Holding on to the past prevents the relationship one is currently in from blossoming into something that could potentially be beautiful. Life is too short to let one bad mishap hold one back from taking on new relations. Things are going to happen, people will get hurt, but it is all a part of the journey one has to be willing to take.
Scared of labels
In our generation ‘talking’ has become very prevalent. ‘Talking’ is the trial stage before two people engage in an actual relationship. But nowadays all people do is ‘talk’, no relationships are being formed so one ends up being stuck in a ‘situationship’. To be completely honest, this really a state of confusion and issues.
Breakdown: A guy and a girl are talking; she is his girl and he is her bae, but they are not exclusive to the point where they are dating. Though, they are exclusive to the point where people know about the two. But, if he or she want to go talk to another person, they can and can’t be mad because they are not dating. Then again, she is his girl and he is her bae, so they would not do that, because that is not right, but if one of them wanted to, they could because at the end of the day they are not dating – you see where the confusion comes in?
People who are scared of labels often are afraid of commitment and have something that is holding them back from fully settling down. They are too scared to lose other options or the freedom to make decisions whenever they please. What most people fail to realize is that is how it should be in a relationship. One should still be able to do whatever they want, just with some boundaries and everything one finds in multiple people, believe it or not is easy to find all in one individual.
“…the more you say that labels don’t matter, the more significant they become. Just call him your boyfriend! It’s so much easier…,” quoted from Ellen Scott’s, What’s The Big Deal With Relationship Labels? article.
Walking out is easier
Relationships require a lot of time and effort, which a lot of people are not willing to give. People often find it easier to walk out of tough situations because they know they have other options. But what most people do not understand is, no matter how many relationships you enter, each one is going to come with some type of challenge.
“Why should we still try and do this?”
“Because I love you – and just because [explicit] is [explicit] up now doesn’t mean you stop trying.”
- About Last Night scene between Joy Bryant (Debbie Sullivan) &Michael Ealy (Danny Martin)
The best thing to do in situations like this is to talk it out. Walking out should only be used as a last resort only if you have tried everything you can possibly do, not as a second option.
People get into a relationships all the time with unrealistic expectations of how it should or should not be. Loving someone is hard and people need to grow and find themselves before they are ready to actually put in work in a relationship with another individual.
Today people have the luxury (or curse) of having reality television, radio, and social media. This is the modern platform where the youth see a lot of how love and relationships are portrayed for the good and the bad.
“So much around us influences how we feel or view the opposite sex. Everyone is so concerned about getting hurt or played that we are playing ourselves out on opportunities to see what love really feels like,” graduate student, D’Asha Barnes said.
Personal definitions of love vary
Another reason why it may be challenging for our generation to fall in love is that not everybody’s’ perception of love is the same.
“Some people value the physical attributes of love over the emotional and spiritual aspects of love,” 3rd year student, Qu’ran Milord said. As mentioned before with the exposure of Hollywood, social media, and fairytales our society has deteriorated the definition of love. Love is made to be something that’s simple and something that doesn’t require some type of effort.
Overall, this generation just needs to be aware that there is a lot that comes with love – it is sacrificial, giving, forgiving, understanding, and sometimes upsetting. When considering the five areas earlier explained, falling in love becomes more complicated than it needs to be.
Falling in love is a beautiful experience that everyone should get the opportunity to partake in at some point of their life. It’s just when we add all those unnecessary factors, is when it becomes difficult.