Enigma

By Omekah G. Edmondson

You’re an enigma

You allow light to pass through you so as to make sure others around you are able to be seen

You morph, twist and reinvent to reassure just enough of you is showing to make others feel comfortable

You morph. Yet YOU are uncomfortable

Because you are an enigma. 

You are …

The supporter

The sister

The brother

The comforter

The listener

The defender

The peacemaker

 The necessary evil

The beacon of light on other’s dark days

The fixer

enigma2

But in actuality, you are more broken than the ones you continue to save

You can’t break the habit because it is embedded in your nature

Deeply encoded in your DNA, to put others before yourself

So much that you stopped asking yourself if you were ok … only others

Your mantra being: What you can’t do for yourself, you do for others

You can’t seem to find happiness in yourself, so you make sure to supply it for others

And you pride yourself on being the best at it … Because you are your own worst critic

Gauging how much you have given for others and matching that with your worth

Only laughing when appropriate

Aiding the next one in crisis when in fact it is you who are drowning in a bottomless pit of emptiness

A pit of fake smiles, “I’m fines” and empty bottles

Be careful enigma

Be careful to make sure to pour back into you

Because that level of transparency that you use to morph into the perfect being for every situation … constantly giving and giving is deteriorating your façade

In fact it is chipping away bits and pieces of yourself

Creating a toxic being within that feigns for nothing but gives everything

enigma3

My dearest enigma, my plea to you is that you see that even though at your crux of who you are

Your drive is to give to others

It is you who also needs help

And if you are not ready to seek that help

I plead that you will at least find your own “enigma” that will be there for you

Because we all need to have someone to help us see the light at the end of the tunnel

Someone to pick us back up when we’ve fallen

Someone to remind us that we are special and worthy

Someone to recognize that what you put out into the world is not always given back to you

I plead that you recognize all of this before it is too late

And the jig is up

Where you will no longer be able to effectively give all that you wish to give because you yourself are no longer whole

Again I plead to you enigma……

 

Be careful.

 

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13 Comments Add yours

  1. Wow this is amazing so beautifully written of pulitzer prize quality. It was just what I needed to hear and at the perfect time. This writer is going places. Would love to hear more!!!!

    Like

  2. Vernice Haliburton says:

    In the midst of all that can be seen, heard, felt and spoken, Omekha has managed to tap into the secret places of our hearts, minds and spirit. Her words are heart felt and seems to echo her own life’s journey. Well done!

    Like

  3. Mrs. Sharon Nibbs says:

    Wow!!! Two snaps and a twirl!!! This is so beautiful. It makes you look internally and reflect on who you are and why you do the things you do. Thank you Miss O for allowing me to share in this rollercoaster ride simply but powerfully called “ENIGMA”

    Like

  4. Jamila Williams says:

    This poem is such a detailed description of many of us as we go through this road called – life. I feel like this is also a wonderful explanation of the “black” woman. “We don’t always do what we want to do, but we always do what we have to do”! For most, this is known as survival mode. But in the midst of survival mode, we prioritize the well doing of others and “unintentionally” neglect the well being of ourselves. It is only when we STOP and sit quietly that we realize that we ourselves need to be taken care of. I could go on and on on this delicate topic but I’lll leave that to the expert or author of this piece ( my cousin)… Thanks for this inspiration and I love you!!! Keep doing a great job!!!

    Like

  5. Paul says:

    Simply wonderful

    Like

  6. Julie says:

    Thank you for speaking to my soul, this was beautiful.

    Like

  7. Heath says:

    Wow! This is awesome!

    Like

  8. Mrs. Howard says:

    Simply transformational!!! Thank you Ms. Edmondson

    Like

  9. Carrie Macaluso says:

    This has such deep insight. Touching, bitter, sweet, divulging and honest. I hope to read more from Omekah.

    Like

  10. Fred Chatman says:

    Many people can internalize the message within. Perfectly done.

    Like

  11. Yolanda says:

    Wow. True talent. Amazing poem.

    Like

  12. Esilec says:

    Really Interesting!

    Like

  13. Penelo says:

    Wow! this speaks volume…. It’s speaks to my mom my sista myself -and many other women who carry more than their load….❤️

    Like

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