By Omekah G. Edmondson
You’re an enigma
You allow light to pass through you so as to make sure others around you are able to be seen
You morph, twist and reinvent to reassure just enough of you is showing to make others feel comfortable
You morph. Yet YOU are uncomfortable
Because you are an enigma.
You are …
The supporter
The sister
The brother
The comforter
The listener
The defender
The peacemaker
The necessary evil
The beacon of light on other’s dark days
The fixer
But in actuality, you are more broken than the ones you continue to save
You can’t break the habit because it is embedded in your nature
Deeply encoded in your DNA, to put others before yourself
So much that you stopped asking yourself if you were ok … only others
Your mantra being: What you can’t do for yourself, you do for others
You can’t seem to find happiness in yourself, so you make sure to supply it for others
And you pride yourself on being the best at it … Because you are your own worst critic
Gauging how much you have given for others and matching that with your worth
Only laughing when appropriate
Aiding the next one in crisis when in fact it is you who are drowning in a bottomless pit of emptiness
A pit of fake smiles, “I’m fines” and empty bottles
Be careful enigma
Be careful to make sure to pour back into you
Because that level of transparency that you use to morph into the perfect being for every situation … constantly giving and giving is deteriorating your façade
In fact it is chipping away bits and pieces of yourself
Creating a toxic being within that feigns for nothing but gives everything
My dearest enigma, my plea to you is that you see that even though at your crux of who you are
Your drive is to give to others
It is you who also needs help
And if you are not ready to seek that help
I plead that you will at least find your own “enigma” that will be there for you
Because we all need to have someone to help us see the light at the end of the tunnel
Someone to pick us back up when we’ve fallen
Someone to remind us that we are special and worthy
Someone to recognize that what you put out into the world is not always given back to you
I plead that you recognize all of this before it is too late
And the jig is up
Where you will no longer be able to effectively give all that you wish to give because you yourself are no longer whole
Again I plead to you enigma……
Be careful.
Wow this is amazing so beautifully written of pulitzer prize quality. It was just what I needed to hear and at the perfect time. This writer is going places. Would love to hear more!!!!
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In the midst of all that can be seen, heard, felt and spoken, Omekha has managed to tap into the secret places of our hearts, minds and spirit. Her words are heart felt and seems to echo her own life’s journey. Well done!
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Wow!!! Two snaps and a twirl!!! This is so beautiful. It makes you look internally and reflect on who you are and why you do the things you do. Thank you Miss O for allowing me to share in this rollercoaster ride simply but powerfully called “ENIGMA”
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This poem is such a detailed description of many of us as we go through this road called – life. I feel like this is also a wonderful explanation of the “black” woman. “We don’t always do what we want to do, but we always do what we have to do”! For most, this is known as survival mode. But in the midst of survival mode, we prioritize the well doing of others and “unintentionally” neglect the well being of ourselves. It is only when we STOP and sit quietly that we realize that we ourselves need to be taken care of. I could go on and on on this delicate topic but I’lll leave that to the expert or author of this piece ( my cousin)… Thanks for this inspiration and I love you!!! Keep doing a great job!!!
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Simply wonderful
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Thank you for speaking to my soul, this was beautiful.
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Wow! This is awesome!
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Simply transformational!!! Thank you Ms. Edmondson
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This has such deep insight. Touching, bitter, sweet, divulging and honest. I hope to read more from Omekah.
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Many people can internalize the message within. Perfectly done.
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Wow. True talent. Amazing poem.
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Really Interesting!
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Wow! this speaks volume…. It’s speaks to my mom my sista myself -and many other women who carry more than their load….❤️
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