Are You a Virgin?

By Cheyenne Brown

Are you a virgin?  Yes. I usually receive a reaction of disbelief from just about anyone who asks me this question.

Do you get tempted? Yes, I am an 18 year old freshman college student with raging hormones, of course I get tempted. Over time, I have just learned how to control those urges.

So, you haven’t done anything? Nope. 

“You are missing out!”

These are often how these conversation go. I tend to have to do a lot of convincing, which is followed by several of very personal question, then their reaction of disbelief turns into a shock.

Still being able to claim my virginity plays a major role in my life. My decision to not be sexually active doesn’t really have to do with my parents or my religion, it is more of a personal accomplishment. (I mean of course my parents have had plenty of sex-talks with me and with being Christian, sex before marriage is a sin.)

I think people have a hard time the idea of me being a virgin because of my personality. I think people think that virgins are these really precious, super uptight and religious, don’t have fun type people, and that isn’t the case.

I’m really chill, I like to go out, have fun, and I can hold a pretty good conversation, while still going to church every Sunday morning. A lot of people thought this whole “angel child” thing was an act, well it isn’t. They thought I would come to college and go “boy crazy,” well I haven’t.

The only thing that is different now is I am more exposed to sexual conversation and it almost seems like everyone around me does it.

I have been called a prude and all the other silly names that come along with being a virgin. I even carry around my abstinent card. You know the one we all received from that 8th grade seminar “Safe Sex is No Sex”? Yea, I still carry that around faithfully. Don’t judge me.

I wouldn’t say I am missing out on anything because I haven’t done anything. Since I have not participated in any sort of sexual activity, I don’t have the urge or need to be involved. I don’t want to dip and dabble into any of that stuff.

I have asked myself before, ‘Am I missing out? Is waiting worth it?’ I just have to have a mini pep-talk with myself and remind myself what I am doing all this for.

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My mom plays a HUGE role in all this. She is my role model. My mother waited till she was married to have sex, and she got married at 32. I know things are different now than they were then, but just knowing that the only man my mom has ever been with was my father just gives me so much encouragement.

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

I’m not concerned about others’ opinions on the whole situation, but I do feel like I would be such a huge disappointment if I were to lose my virginity. I feel like I am that one glimpse of hope for my friends.

“Someone has got to stay pure for us.”

Honestly, I am scared. I’m scared to lose my virginity. I am scared of every aspect of sex. I am scared of the action itself and everything else that follows.

I have heard that once you lose it, it is like “that’s it?” Well, I am okay with the whole idea of being scared. I am not ashamed nor embarrassed of being a virgin. I’m quite proud.

I really do not date around. I rarely am talking to anyone let alone have a boyfriend, because a lot of guys do not understand. I had to learn and accept the fact that not every guy is going to agree with my decision, and that is okay. You do not have to agree with my decision, but you will respect my decision.

Waiting till marriage is of course every girls’ goal till they actually have sex, then that goal is out the window. I plan on keeping that goal.

I am not guaranteeing this will happen. I hope it does, but what I do know is whenever I decide to have sex it will be on my own terms.

 

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. Cece says:

    You fye suhh and I’m proud of you 😊❤✊

    Like

  2. Nicky says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience with this choice! It absolutely CAN be done. I just turned 27 this weekend and still holding fast to my pledge to abstinence. I’ve been called a “weirdo” “uptight” and even accused of not being a real woman yet because of my virginity. Let people have their comments; you just have to be proud of yourself at the end of the day 🙂

    Like

  3. Josh says:

    Wow. As a freshman male in college trying to maintain abstinence, this makes it feel so much better. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one saving myself but then I see this. Keep going!!!

    Like

  4. Keaton McNeely says:

    Great article, very commendable and respectable wish I could be as strong as you

    Like

  5. Lucy says:

    This is awesome! Thank you for sharing. Glad to see that others are trying to save themselves 🙂

    Like

  6. Jen.You says:

    Hey Cheyenne!
    Great honest post! You aren’t missing anything not having sex…keep your standards HIGH! You can save yourself until marriage; it’s not impossible at ALL! Surround yourself with great supportive family and friends and stay close to God. You can do it, wishing you all the very best!

    Like

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