By: Kalyn Wilson
Imma join the draft this year. Don’t deny it. Once you got past the annoying reality that this term holds cultural meaning to us, you bought into it.
It started to shimmer like an open invitation to the Governor’s Mansion of committed relationships, and you got excited. That crisp, cool air rolled in and you started daydreaming of sweaters and sweethearts.
But there’s still this part of you that rolls your eyes at the existence of this phenomenon, all while secretly hoping it’ll work out in your favor.
What the heck is a “Cuffin’ Season?”
That’s so stupid to believe that a change in the weather has anything to do with a change in your relationship status. You’re right. However, there is some truth to the idea. It’s more like what you learn about research: correlation does not imply causation.
It think we can all agree that there is a relationship between when people tend to settle down and the seasons, but it’s deeper than it being cold outside.
An article in ELLE Magazine called Sex: Weather-Driven Desire speaks to this phenomena more on the side of sexual desire, arguing that the increased sunlight of the summer increases libido, while the lackthereof in the winter can increase feelings of fatigue, depression and a lessened sex drive.
In my mind, that tells me that people are in higher need for the good feelings committed relationships bring in the winter, while the intense sunshine fills that void in the summer.
My personal theory of Cuffin’ Season says that during the colder seasons, there’s a lot less transition and the holidays that occur during these times are all about togetherness and close-knit ties.
On the other hand, the warmer days are a time of major transition, travel and much fewer holidays that speak to the desire to be with others (outside of Memorial Day and July 4th). I’m sure you can guess which one would spark more feelings of wanting something special with one person than the other.
Okay, so it’s kind of a “real thing” even though it sounds bad. So what’s the problem?
This term in a cultural sense has one obvious flaw: the fact that’s whatever happens only happens for a season. It’s all temporary and it’s all casual.
Anyone who has lived long enough, or seen any show or movie about friends with benefits, knows that “casual and temporary” relationships more often than not do not end well because at least one of the two changes their mind about how temporary and casual they want the relationship.
The sad truth is that there are some people who fully intend to carry out this notion of seasonality, and some even actively seek someone to play the temporary position, even if they know that person wants something serious. It’s bad enough that people actually regard this thing as a thing, but it’s even worse that some people take it so literally.
Now, if you’re interested in a little cuddle buddy for the cold months only, that’s fine. But my advice is this: make that clear. Don’t let this be a time where you prey on those who want something real.
There’s someone out there who wants exactly what you want, but I’ve seen and heard of too many people, young and all, falling victim to this thing like if it’s fantasy football: taken seriously, but still just a game.
Word to the wise…
First of all, if you’re like me, you’re going to have to let go of the reality that even major news outlets may be posting articles like “The Rules of Cuffin’ Season” and “How to Get Picked in This Year’s Cuffin’ Season Draft” for the world to see (unless if they’ve discovered something else to talk about in its place).
Secondly, just pay attention. If you’re out here looking for love, be aware that some are out here looking for seasonal-long lust.
But don’t walk around thinking that someone may only want you for a season; some beautiful, real things can spark in the winter and you don’t want to block your summer loving because of preconceived notions. If you keep your eyes open and stay true to yourself, you’ll see who’s for a reason, season and lifetime.
The key is to pay attention. You may have unknowingly enrolled in a draft or be auditioning players who really would rather not be in a lineup. Just know that “cuffin’ season” as we know it, or refuse to accept it, is upon us. Sad (or not), but true.
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